Today = Fail

Today has felt like a big fail in both my professional and personal life. I am having a terrible time with one of the other middle/high school teachers. Granted, there are only four of us total at our school so the fact that I only have to work with three and one is unwilling to do their part really sucks.

Example #1: My planning time is during homeroom. I have no students to account for and it's my time to get prepared for the day. Every.Single.Day this teacher allows their students to come into my room (which isn't really "my" room since I teach in every room, but it's where my desk is and is in that room). The students are loud, disruptive, and are using the internet for non-school related things. They are the responsibility of the homeroom teacher, but instead, they are in my room doing whatever they darn well please. 


Example #2: Each teacher takes a turn in the high school lab (where the students take courses via DVD) for one period during the day. The students are not to be playing games or on the internet and are only allowed to be doing school-related activities. This one teacher not only allows the students to play games and go on the internet, but actually encourages it by playing games WITH them. Oh, and sometimes this person leaves a few minutes before lunch and the kids are just left hanging out in the room by themselves.

Example #3: I have had a major problem with things coming up missing from my cart and desk for a few months now. I was informed to send an email to the other three teachers to have them make sure that the students are not left in that room unsupervised and to make sure that the students are not going in the desk without permission. Well, lo and behold last week and this week two students were sitting at my desk, in my chair with no teacher in there supervising. Seriously?

Basically, I'm tired of it. I sent out another email today asking the teachers not to send their students over during homeroom (again). And, I put a sign on my desk saying "No students are allowed to sit at this desk. Thank you." It's ridiculous that I would have to put a note there, but I can't handle my stuff being taken anymore.

As for my personal life, things are just crazy. Our apartment is in a constant state of clutter and our laundry card is missing. I have two loads that need to get done, but can't and my husband has no clue where it is either. On top of that, I went to open the windows in the bedroom and saw a huge wasp in between the window and screen...lovely. That's when I noticed that the screen is not the correct size and that there is a one inch gap at the top that allows bugs to get in there. Basically, I can't open the bedroom windows to get air in. Awesome.

Sorry for the rant, but I just can't handle this today. I'm exhausted and need a break, but there's too much to do. Help!

Rant

I am so overwhelmed right now. There's only a few more weeks until the end of the year and it seems like the more I put in effort, the more that situations arise. The end of the year is obviously crazy anyways. Kids are tired of doing work and we are starting our last big project before finals...a research paper. On top of that, the study guides for the finals are due tomorrow and even though I teach three classes live, I get to do five study guides with a literature and grammar portion each....so that pretty much makes it more like ten.

I'm also being mentored now and it will continue through the summer. Hopefully this will be a big help for next year. The current thing we're working on...being more diplomatic. You know, it's when you are trying to say something and you have to say it in a way that will not offend anyone and still get your point across. Ya, that's a really hard one for me. I'm all about being direct and clear, but that's not going to work. I'm doing better with my emails to parents (although I have to think twice as hard on how to properly word it).


There's also a lot going on at home. I've been very up and down since Saturday afternoon so I'm not feeling too well. On top of that, the maintenance team is coming by tomorrow to inspect the heating/cooling system in everyone's apartment. Yep, we're going to have to pick up a few things here and there...and I think it's safe to say there is a fat chance that we're going to the gym tonight with all of the school work that still needs to be done.

I'm tired. Like, really tired and can't take a break. Maybe next week?

Opening Up

My husband is a wonderful man. He is patient, kind, loving, and supportive. He is the one I go to with all of my issues throughout the day.

I am happy to report that my mornings have gotten increasingly better. However, my evenings have become increasingly difficult. Most afternoons, I feel very blah which leads to rough evenings. When my husband comes home we eat dinner, talk, and get ready for the next day. Usually I have a little down time while he finishes getting ready for bed.

The past couple of nights I've been super irritable or sad in the evenings. It's really getting to me. I feel so horrible that my husband gets the brunt end of the stick. Of course I apologize, but that doesn't fix the ongoing problem of having rough nights.

After months of having lots of irritability and moods, I saw a doctor. The doctor prescribed me something to hopefully help even things out. Part of me is happy to know that this might work and help me feel normal again, but part of me is embarrassed that I can not do this on my own. I've tried this on my own for years and it just isn't working. I've tried praying, exercising, getting a special lamp for the winter, taking up a mellow hobby, drowning myself in tv, but nothing has worked.

I need to do this because it's what's best for me and my husband. Sometimes the best thing to do is to get help when needed. I know that I need help because I just don't always feel right. My moods fluctuate a lot and it can be so draining.

So, right now I'm doing this to try to get me to feel normal and happy again on a more consistent basis. It's ok to need help and to accept it. Here's to the road of recovery and getting to the right place again...