Letting Go

Today is a good day for me. This is especially great because I've had a lot of rough days recently and have started falling into a depression. Waking up feeling great was so wonderful. I feel like I am seeing the world (and things plaguing me) in a whole new light.

I've written before a little bit about how hurt and frustrated I was with my sister. I have, since learned to deal with it and with lots of prayer and support have decided to move on and let it no longer control me. The decision to let go was not easy and with that comes another difficult decision--to take a step back from our relationship. By taking a step back I am allowing myself to heal and not to worry about hurtful things. It allows her time to grow, mature, and hopefully renew her faith in the Lord. It allows healing to happen from both ends so that one day I will be able to trust her and will see all of the positive things in her life and will get to be apart of that.

Letting go is not always easy, but it is sometimes the best thing. My dad did this for me a long time ago. He was still there for me, but did not allow me (in my crazy-emotional state) to affect his day. Our relationship was tough and, at the time, I did not understand. I felt hurt and abandoned for years, but God finally broke me down and showed me the right way to live and helped me to understand that he was doing what was best for not only him, but my family, and myself. My relationship with my dad is at such a good point right now and it's because I've turned my life around and was not enabled by him.

I am hoping that the same thing will happen for my sister. That she will know that I still love her and am still here for her, but that she needs to grow and make good choices in her life to be able to have the kind of relationship we all want with her.

I am so thankful for the support I've had through all of the bad and selfish decisions I've made in my life. I am now stronger and have a new faith because of it. Now, it's time for me to let go and know that in the end, it will all work out.